A childhood well lived

Abstract

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Why do some adults look back on their childhood years and find affection, while others find anxiety and difficulties? It is well known in mental health, the negative result that adverse events experienced in childhood introduce into human life. Depression, drug and alcohol use disorder, suicidal thinking and behavior all have roots in that many-act scene. How much of all this result goes unnoticed by parents and teachers?

At least, in a study carried out in August 2019 by C.S. Mott Children's Hospital [1], among 819 parents, 40% of parents find it difficult to recognize depression in their children, 30% attribute it to the fact that their children know how to hide it very well, 14% accept that among They, parents and children, talk little or spend little time together, say 7% of parents. Interestingly, only 4% report not knowing the signs of depression to look for.

Perhaps, the ethical emerges as a result of a more loving, less aggressive, less demanding or competitive care, more gentle and loving.

At the same time, inequity [2] carves out and accentuates -when it does not start- a rugged path of hopelessness that is more visible in the adolescent years, when there comes a time when it is not possible to distinguish whether adverse experiences are the result or the cause of those health disorders. It is also the time period of greatest vulnerability of the human brain to exposure resulting in detriment. [3]

In a provocative writing, Luara Ferracioli [4], professor of political philosophy at the University of Sydney, points out that for the child, growing up unconcerned is intrinsic to a life well lived, or a happy life. Remember that these lives are diametrically different from those dominated by stress and anxiety, which dominate those of adults. One of many answers, surely, to the question that begins this writing.

The pediatrician, an adult man or woman, who has lived and enjoyed his relationship with children, who has identified with them so many times, behaves like them in terms of revealing joy on his face and in his actions every time he shares with them. It clearly contrasts with the rigid rather than concerned, severe rather than caring faces and behaviors of other adults in other jobs or professions.

A few years ago, I ran into a gas station to put gas in my car, with the divorced father of two of my patients. At that time they were 7 and 5 years old. They got out of their car and came running towards me to hug me and I immediately played with them "hide and seek". I can never forget the joy on their little faces and the violent expression of his father towards me: "You look like a child!" I would be close to 50 years old. You can thank him, but it really was one of his many characteristics of his behavior and, sure, a good argument for divorcing him. But that is true, we play with children and laugh with them, no matter our age, punctually when we allow unconcern to enjoy the joy of moments and children. Those girls wanted to laugh, they wanted to play, they wanted a moment of happiness. Why not give it to them? There is something special about being carefree, which is necessary to allow for a well-lived childhood.

[1] Mott Poll Report. C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, the University of Michigan Department of Pediatrics, and the University of Michigan Susan B. Meister Child Health Evaluation and Research (CHEAR) Center. 2019. November 18, vol 3: Issue 2

[2] Inequity and Adolescence. En: The Promise of Adolescence. Realizing Opportunity for All Youth. Consensus Study Report. The National Academies of Sciences – Engineering – Medicine. The National Academies Press. 500 Fifth Street, NW. Washington DC 20001: Ch 4: 95-145

[3] Galvan A: The Neuroscience of Adolescence. Cambridge Fundamentals of Neuroscience in Psychology. Cambridge University Press. 2017

[4] Ferracioli L: For a child, being carefree is intrinsic to a well-lived life. AEON Newsletter. 08 May, 2020